Body Language – does he/she fancy me?

Wouldn’t it be useful to know whether someone “fancies” us. Of course it would, even if only so that we could get our running shoes on.

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Seriously though, it is remarkably easy to learn the basics of body language. When men notice women they find attractive they tend to subtly straighten their backs to appear taller, suck in their stomach and expand their chests. This behaviour is because what is generally considered attractive is our gender differences. For example, men try to highlight their stature and muscles while women draw attention to their femininity. Their cleavage and hair (by touching/stroking or rearranging it) are often obvious examples. They may also engage by wetting their lips, crossing their legs and narrowing them to emphasize their hips or turning the head sideways to expose the delicate and vulnerable neck.

Eye contact is another signal. A woman noticing a man she is attracted to will often make eye contact until it is returned whereupon she will turn away. She is likely to re-engage eye contact shortly afterwards to confirm her interest.

Be careful not to confuse politeness with sexual interest though. Men are much more likely to jump to the conclusion that a women is showing interest because of their vastly higher levels of testosterone.

A woman toying with a cylindrical object whilst sitting with a man, for example the stem of a glass or even fiddling with a ring on her finger may indicate the desire to take things towards the bedroom!

It has been found that the healthiest women with the best chance of reproduction, are those with a 70{05b16b73fcbdfcd06e51a08e09156f7cf867451dbc45856cbfd48baf7209b459} waist to hip ratio, meaning their waist is 70{05b16b73fcbdfcd06e51a08e09156f7cf867451dbc45856cbfd48baf7209b459} the size of their hips. Not surprisingly this is also the ratio men unconsciously find most attractive. Woman who are attracted to a man they are speaking with may tilt their hips from side to side resting their weight on one leg to make that hip protrude.

The legs can also be used in other ways to indicate interest. We tend to point our legs (if sitting down) or feet (if standing) towards someone we are attracted to. Crossing of legs is trickier to assess. If accompanied by crossed arms this is not a good sign and it may be time to retreat and try speaking with someone more receptive to your charms.

Men have a tendency to “display” their crotch one way or another to show interest in a woman. In modern society, this primitive urge ought to be kept subtle if you want to avoid the legal system or the end of any chance of a relationship. However, uncrossing the legs and spreading the gap between the knees if sitting are obvious examples.
Mirroring is something to watch out for. This occurs when one person mirrors the behaviour of the other indicating a sympathy toward them.

Slouching is a sign of boredom or unhappiness particularly in men. An interested man will straighten his back to appear taller and fitter.
I’ve left the most important signals until last. Smiling is the best indicator of interest. Essentially, the more the better, but leave the fake and cheesy grin at home. We can tell the difference between genuine and fake smiles. The pupils are also a good indicator of interest. The bigger the pupils the more interest.

Don’t forget to stay natural and focus on him/her. Spending too much time worrying about body language is likely to spoil the moment.

Enjoy your date…


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In January 2015, you’ll have a chance to try out your dating skills in Salisbury, Wiltshire.

What’s more, it’s all in aid of an excellent charity, Hope and Homes for Children.  The local support group is holding a speed dating event in Salisbury on January 15th 2015 for 40(ish) to 60(ish) year olds in aid of the charity.

By being flexible about the age range, there will be less temptation for participants to lie about their age.  In fact, you won’t have to tell anyone your age at all , if you feel right coming along then you’ll be welcome.

The evening will be a fun event where each person will spend 4 minutes talking with every person of the opposite sex. There will also be a chance to mingle at the bar before and after the formal sessions. Ideal for those wishing to meet potential partners or just make new friends whilst at the same time helping a marvellous charity.

Places are limted to 20 men and 20 women. To express an interest in attending a repeat of this event, email Chris at or call 01747 858016 – there is no commitment at this stage.

Alternatively, follow us on Twitter @DatingSalisbury